Content warnings: climate chaos

The smoke is so thick you can see it in the air. Not a haze in the upper atmosphere, or an unusually orange sun, but like a white sheet spread over the middle distance. A dry fog. You can feel it in your lungs, on the roof of your mouth, your nose, your eyes. When you close them it's still there.

The student union is serving free hamburgers today in an open air barbecue. People dine outdoors like it's nothing. I swear this world we live in parodies itself.

I don't begrudge anyone for trying to have a bit of fun in these trying times, but I'm afraid of those who wouldn't try at all. These aren't climate science deniers. These are people who anxiously read the news. But somehow they go beyond climate denialism. I've heard it called de facto denialism, a denial not in words but in actions, but I feel like that doesn't fully capture it. The only thing I could imagine being worse than an admittedly honest refusal to see the truth would be to accept it and choose to do nothing, to live out your own little atomized, individual life, to cope, to not try.

When I was a kid I was terrified of the climate crisis, but as I grew up I learned to cope with the knowledge that we still have time. People will refuse to accept a society that would knowingly destroy itself. People would vote for green politicians. When they didn't, and when the climate leaders we had failed us, I told myself people would refuse to let them. They would protest. If they cracked down on the protests, there would be a point where we had nothing left to lose. After the Nth summer of perpetual deadly heatwaves, somehow, we'd be forced to do change the hard way. Today I cope with the belief that there is a floor to how bad things could get; when China exports a bazillion solar panels we'll all get to live in the world of The Wandering Earth Project. There'll be something for us, if nothing else. I choose to believe. Those who would seemingly go gentle into that good night are making it hard.

If one day the smoke kills me, it'll come after daily stand-up.

Respond to this article

If you have thoughts you'd like to share, send me an email!
See here for ways to reach out